Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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