She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
