Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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