And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
