please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
