We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
