Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
