that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
and she was petting her beer can
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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