I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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