this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
