Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
