Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
