I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
She even gives head with a lisp.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize