If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
