No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
