i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
