Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
