i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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