My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
