I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
