I think scott just propositioned me for sex
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
