Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
