That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
