we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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