3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
The chlamydia really affected his face.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Randomize
