I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Randomize
