david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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