I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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