that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
