I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
