First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
