I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
