its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
