Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
