He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Randomize
