I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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