my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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