His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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