Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
