I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Everyone says I win the strip club
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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