Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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