Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Randomize
