His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
