Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
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