he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
