So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
