Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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