Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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