I showed him my bush... on skype.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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