So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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