yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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