Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
