So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
