HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
